Last weekend, I spent almost an hour going on and on (and on) to my friend about how much I can’t stand this one TikToker with the most grating voice and “pick me” energy. And by the end of this passionate vent sesh, I started to seriously question myself: Um, do I have a problem?Of course, it’s natural to feel annoyed by certain people, including ones we barely (or don’t) know at all—like that obnoxious rapper, narcissistic Bachelor contestant, or overrated pop star. But there’s a difference between not liking someone and letting that feeling snowball into a full-blown obsession that messes with your well-being, Janel Coleman, LMSW, a licensed therapist at Madison Square Psychotherapy in New York City tells SELF.For example, simply seeing a reality TV villain on your screen probably shouldn’t trigger you so much that you end up stalking their Instagram reels until 2 a.m. Similarly, it’s not great if hearing your frenemy’s name turns your entire Friday night date into a draining tirade about why they suck. When someone rubs you the wrong way, “you should be able to feel these feelings and move on,” Coleman says. But that can be difficult to do, which explains why so many of us find it easier to “focus on their flaws than to do the more challenging work of processing those vulnerable emotions,” she adds.Even though a good rant might feel like exactly what you need in the heat of the moment, you don’t want your hatred to mess with your mental health and how you live your life, Coleman says. And if it does? The following expert tips can help you rein in your visceral distaste for that misogynistic comedian, mean “friend,” or whoever else is living in your head rent-free.1. When you feel that wave of negativity rolling in, just breathe.Yep, we’re starting this article off strong with yet another deep breathing tip (a signature SELF rec), and for good reason: Redirecting your attention to your breath is one of the quickest, easiest ways to de-escalate anger and frustration, Coleman says (and research agrees). The idea is that, by making a conscious effort to get out of your head, you’re less likely to act irrationally on your emotions—and say, devote your Saturday night to obsessively refreshing your ex’s Snapchat location.If you want to give deep breathing (or, more technically, diaphragmatic breathing) a shot, here’s a simple practice: Place one hand on your chest and the other on your stomach, breathe in through your nose then out through your mouth, and pay attention to how your belly rises and falls. Coleman also recommends the 4-7-8 technique: “Breathe in for four seconds, hold for seven seconds, and exhale for eight seconds. Do this a few times until you feel a little less overwhelmed.”Both of these exercises, she says, can activate your parasympathetic nervous system, the part of the autonomic nervous system that tells your body to calm down. That makes them the perfect tools to use whenever all-consuming stress (including bitterness and rage) hijacks your body—and convinces you to tell everyone in the group chat to hate your roommate as much as you do.2. If blocking or unfollowing someone feels aggressive, mute them instead.This may sound obvious, but please stop hate-following those influencers, A-listers, and former classmates who annoy you to no end. Seeing their content will just piss you off even more and keep you thinking about them way more than you should, Fanny Tristan, LCSW, a psychotherapist and founder of Restority Space in New York City, tells SELF.