What is anger?Anger is a normal and valid emotional response that everyone experiences from time to time. In fact, anger can be a healthy response to hurtful, upsetting, or even life-threatening situations. A lot of people feel angry occasionally, but not to an extent that disrupts their day-to-day routines, careers, or relationships.Types of Anger
External anger: Anger displayed in a physical and/or verbal way, like yelling, tossing items around, making threats, slamming doors, and/or hurting others.
Internal anger: Anger directed towards the self, displayed in actions like self-harm, self-starvation, and negative thoughts.
Non-violent anger: Anger displayed in a subtle or passive-aggressive way, like giving someone the cold shoulder, making snarky/sarcastic comments, or purposefully inconveniencing others.
What are anger issues?Anger issues occur when anger seriously impacts your everyday life. A person with anger issues feels angry frequently, to a point where their friends, loved ones, and co-workers notice. Their rage seems to supersede any other reactions they might have, to a point where it’s affecting their health overall (e.g., headaches, high blood pressure, depression, anxiety, etc.).Do I have anger issues?You might have anger issues if your anger frequently impacts your daily life. Think about how you normally behave and react on a day-to-day basis. Does anger heavily influence the way you treat other people, as well as yourself? Are you capable of reacting and responding to different situations with a variety of emotions, or does anger always seem to be front and center? If you can’t seem to break free of anger’s control over your life, you could have anger issues.Anger Management Tips
Breathe deeply when you get upset. Focus on inhaling slowly through your nose and then exhaling slowly as well. Continue breathing in and out slowly—this helps force you to calm down instead of lashing out in the moment.
Count up to a number before doing/saying something impulsive. It’s really easy to do or say something that you regret in the heat of the moment. Before you leap into action, count to 10, 20, or any other larger number in your head. This gives you a chance to ground yourself and think things through.
Picture something peaceful or relaxing. Where do you feel the most calm and at ease? Whenever you feel angry, picture yourself in that place to give yourself the opportunity to calm down.
Head to the sink and splash yourself with cold water. It won’t feel comfortable, but a quick blast of cold water might help you reset your brain and think things through in a more calm and rational light.
Approach situations with a sense of humor. While humor isn’t the best response for everything, it can be really helpful to plow through life’s frustrations and inconveniences. The next time you’re feeling especially exasperated or irritated, see if cracking a joke or lightening the mood can help make a difference.
Identify and avoid situations that trigger your anger. What types of events tend to set you off the most? Avoiding these situations or approaching them in a new way can be a valuable way to help you manage your anger effectively.
Eliminate negative thought patterns. Certain ways of thinking, such as viewing situations in absolutes, jumping to conclusions, and pointing fingers may feed into your more angry instincts. Identifying and changing these thought patterns may help you approach different scenarios with a more balanced mindset—you can learn more about changing your negative thoughts here.
Practice self-care. The more you care for your mental and physical health, the easier it’ll be to cope with angry moments and situations. Getting 7-9 hours of sleep each night, destressing with mindfulness meditation, trying progressive muscle relaxation, opening up to a friend, and getting regular exercise are all valuable ways to keep your mind and body in a healthy place.
Sign up for anger management classes. Conquering anger on your own can be a stressful and overwhelming experience—but it’s not one you have to deal with alone! Find an anger management class near you, where you’ll receive special training on how to deal with tough anger flare-ups.
See a licensed mental health professional. Dealing with anger frequently can be an exhausting experience—but it’s not something you have to handle on your own. A therapist can help you dig deeper into why you’re feeling angry, and help you develop strategies to better cope with your feelings.