The thing about the clitoris is, it has no function beyond sexual pleasure. Yep, the entire organ—including both the ultra-sensitive button at the top of the labia (a.k.a. the glans clitoris) and the internal “legs” (or the crura) branching in a wishbone shape around the vaginal canal—exists purely for orgasmic purposes. In fact, more than 70% of women in a 2015 survey reported that they required clitoral stimulation to climax during sex or that it made coming feel better.And yet, this small but mighty body part is often neglected, presumably because p-in-v sex doesn’t necessarily involve the clit. (Sad, we know.) It’s a major reason for the orgasm gap, or the fact that just 65% of heterosexual women report “usually” orgasming during sex compared to 95% of heterosexual men, Taylor Nolan, PhD, LMHC, Seattle-based licensed psychotherapist, sex educator, and member of the plusOne wellness collective, tells SELF. (Bisexual and lesbian women are slightly ahead at 66% and 86%, respectively.)Narrowing that chasm means reprioritizing your clit in bed. Below, you’ll find different techniques to help you level up from your basic nub-rub.But first, some advice for any kind of clitoral stimulationWhether you’re touching your own clit or your partner’s, it’s important to know that no two are the same. “Once you’ve met a clitoris, you’ve only met one clitoris,” Casey Tanner, LCPC, New York-based psychotherapist, AASECT-certified sex therapist, and author of Feel It All: A Therapist’s Guide to Reimagining Your Relationship with Sex, tells SELF. Meaning, there’s no single type of stimulation that will feel best across the board.All the experts SELF spoke with suggest starting slow and gentle. After all, a 2023 study found that the clitoris is very sensitive because it has around 10,200 (!!) nerve endings. (For reference, your entire palm has about 17,000.) So you don’t want to do too much too quickly.Using a light, soft touch also helps get the blood flowing to the vulva, which makes the tissue swell and increases sensitivity, so that anything you do down there feels better, Tanner says. It takes time for the clitoris to become engorged, “just like a penis becomes erect,” she says. “The same way that touching a soft penis might not do much for somebody, stimulating a soft clit may not either.” As it becomes harder, warmer, and wetter, though, you’ll want to build pressure gradually, Jessica O’Reilly, PhD, sex and relationships expert at Womanizer and founder of the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast, tells SELF.If you’re touching (or being touched by) your partner, it’s also essential to make room for in-the-moment feedback, Tanner stresses. “The more that the person with a vulva [being touched] can say, ‘up, down, a little to the right, harder, soft,’ etc., the more likely that person is to experience pleasure and orgasm,” she says.How to stimulate the clitoris during masturbation or with a partnerWith your fingers1. Start with some indirect touch. You don’t need to treat the glans clitoris as a “doorbell that you need to ring,” Dr. O’Reilly says. Instead, Tanner suggests layering the natural folds of your labia over the nub to massage it indirectly. This way, you’re reducing any friction that might otherwise cause your clit to feel overstimulated.